THREE years and FOUR months… 3 years and 4 months… over three looong years…that is how long it has been since I wrote my last post. That was the last time I breathed life into my first baby- KINDLY KARMALIZED. That was the last time I allowed myself to freely write, to freely share my thoughts, to freely be inspired by the world !
I can remember the birth of this blog and how happy I was to finally have something I could publish and pour out my thoughts and visions. I finally had a legit platform to empty what was in my heart and heavy on my mind. I remember being so afraid of publicly publishing my first blog that I read over it three or four times just to make sure I was ready. I probably hit the refresh button every minute just to see if ONE person would care to read my words once I hit “publish”. I had no idea the influence I would have or even if I would make a difference. I was ready to give this site, this vision, all I had. I had visions of helping the homeless, empowering women in shelters, raising money for those less fortunate, brightening up the day of a random person and just sprinkling kindness every where I walked…. and then I remember little by little, losing myself in a situation that unconsciously started to take my inspiration, my desire, my joy, my inner peace. Slowly my thoughts did not flow naturally. My words did not make sense to me. I stared at my computer screen feeling so uninspired. I did not want to write. I did not want to do anything remotely close to expressing how I felt. Maybe because I felt my kindness-happy blog would turn into a place of remorse and resentment. I did not want my place of peace to turn into a place of pain. I just was not feeling “IT”. It is crazy how your attitude can change once you lose your ground and give attention to things that do not deserve it. We slowly forget things that are more important to us by replacing it with things that are irrelevant to our being. I never thought that it would be over three years before I felt that fire in my heart to light again.
Fast forward to the present, the universe- my GOD- have allowed my opportunity to come full circle. My excitement about the new direction I am mentally taking in my life as well as the bigger vision I have for Kindly Karmalized gives me joy. I literally smile when I think of the small box I plan to step out of and the influence I want this movement to have. I am older, wiser and much more motivated to do good and to concentrate more on positive vibes and nurturing mind, body and soul. I am more confident in what I am trying to do and the journey I am taking. I want to hold my baby tight and give it more life than before. I want to grow it to its full potential and in return enjoy the journey. Maybe my trip through heartbreaks, distrust, learning to love myself again, and personal growth had to happen to bring me back to this point. I am not sure but I do know there’s something in me that is burning to lead me to my purpose. My mission is bigger than just being basic. I pray to GOD that I am able to consistently and confidently go forth to bring my thoughts and acts forward. I pray he leads me down a positive path and allows me freedom to discover things others may not understand or do not have the capacity to tap into. I speak life into my dreams and my purpose.
This is Kindly Karmalized – revamped!